The problem is that I feel a little superficial by limiting myself to relationships.  Not that they aren’t important, but there’s a lot more to life than relationships (even if those things aren’t as important).

America is smack dab in the middle of a fascinating (and somewhat frightening) Presidential primary season that could have sweeping ramifications in America.  States are beginning to pass laws on gay marriage.  Countries around the world are reshaping their governments.

I know this is going to seem like small potatoes by comparison, but we just lost a musical icon.

Whitney Houston was buried yesterday in one of the more bizarre spectacles in a long time.  Bobby Brown was apparently shuffled around by security and left after 20 minutes, a right wing religious group claimed to have picketed the funeral (even though it did not), and my facebook newsfeed was blowing up with more people watching the funeral than I have seen since… the Princess Di funeral?  I dunno, it’s been a damn long time.

I also heard lots of criticism of the attention she was getting.

“Why is her death more tragic than anyone else’s?”

“It’s probably her own fault with the drugs and alcohol.”

“She hadn’t really done anything in a long time, so why should we care?”

This has become a circus sideshow of the most tragic kind.

Okay, so maybe those are all valid thoughts.  But she has touched a lot of people’s lives with her music.  And did you know that she was one of the producers of both of the Princess Diaries movies?  Yeah, who knew?

The real tragedy, though, is that she leaves behind an 18 year-old daughter who just lost her mother.

I lost mine a few years ago in an equally sudden and tragic way.  I can’t claim to know how Bobbi Kristina feels, but I know how profoundly shocking an experience this can be.  And do you think all of the articles, news specials, and public criticism makes it any easier for her?  And do you think she isn’t aware of every bit of it?

It’s hard to think of celebrities as normal people because we don’t treat them like normal people.  Their every move is an oddity, every mistake is criticized, and they are under scrutiny anytime they step outside of their houses.

We don’t think of celebrities as being like us.  We can’t imagine Julia Roberts sitting in front of a TV stuffing her face with Doritos (I have no idea whether she does or not).  We would never imagine Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez (are they even still together) playing Trivial Pursuit.  Can you picture Miley Cyrus belching?

Okay, that one’s pretty easy for me.  Maybe not the best example.

Celebrities are just as susceptible to the mundane as the rest of us are.  The reason I feel sad about Whitney Houston’s death is not because she was a celebrity, an actress, or a producer, but because she was a human.  Because she has family who loved her and friends who will miss her.

Maybe I’m just stupid and just don’t get it, but I think that part of treating everyone the same involves treating everyone the same.  I mean, hell, we learn that beginning in preschool.  Robert Fulghum’s simple formula is just as true today as it was when he wrote it.  But I think he missed something.

Treat others how you would like them to treat you.

If you wouldn’t like a celebrity following you around, taking pictures of you every time you scratch your butt and posting it on the internet, and condemning you every time you make a human mistake, maybe you shouldn’t do it to them.

So the next time you’re going to make fun of someone, or criticize someone, or buy a copy of the National Enquirer or US Magazine (apologies to my friend who is an editor there), imagine how you would feel if that critical eye was turned on you.

Anyway, this blog entry has been a rambling mess, I know.  I’ll chalk that up to the fact that I’m still getting back into the swing of things.  But I think I’m done focusing exclusively on relationships.  I’ll still write about them, but I’m planning to expand my view of the world and tackle some of the other big subjects affecting the world today.

Oh, and I should say that a sure-fire way to get some positive pub from me is to write something positive about me in your own blog.  Therefore, I should once again point you in the direction of Fieldwork in Stilettos, where the author has not only mentioned me, but also called me cute.

I’m blushing right now.

Seriously.

Anyway, I was sitting in a round table discussion about balancing your life as a performer with your life as a scholar.  I was sitting next to a stunning statuesque brunette with long, brown curls and a compelling, angular face framing a brilliant smile (no, I did not write that just because she will be reading this entry… *ahem*).

After a brief chat, I learned that she writes a dating blog.  What a coincidence!  I shared that I used to write a relationship column.

Okay, you may be asking yourself why she refers to hers as a dating blog and I refer to mine as a relationship column?  Well, aside from my trying to be pretentious, I think it has a lot to do with our focus.  Kat writes about her dating life and she unabashedly promotes her writing as being about dating.  I remember reading one of her blog entries where she shared that of the 30 guys she had dated, only three had made it past the fifth date.

My column, on the other hand, was more about my experience as a serial monogamist.  I had some casual dates, in fact I think casual dating is a very good thing.  You learn about yourself, you experience new things, you might make some new friends, and you never know whether something unexpected might happen.  Generally, though, I jumped headlong off the cliff into the freefall of love… a journey that usually ended in a very messy puddle on the rocks below.

But enough of my jaded cynicism.  That’s not what this entry is about.

In the course of our discussion, we began to talk about relationship experts.  Those of you who have been longtime readers of TMP know my feelings on these so-called “relationship experts.”  I’ll save that rant for another day.

A couple of weeks after the conference, though, lo and behold!  She had written a blog about our conversation.

This was a new experience for me, and it really gave me an appreciation for what others in my life felt like when I wrote about them.  I was flooded with a variety of possible responses.

“Hey! I’m not nearly as creepy as she is making me out to be!” (sure, a matter of opinion)

“What the hell!  Did she have a court reporter with her?!?” (quotes around things that aren’t necessarily exact quotes, though, is perfectly fine in blog world)

“Why am I complaining?  Isn’t the most important thing what I think of the point she was making?”

I decided to focus on the last one.

The point I was trying to make is that  we tend to be very myopic in our approach to dating.  We are looking to do something that we enjoy, we dress in a way that we think is appropriate, we talk about subjects we want to talk about, and dates tend to get very awkward very quickly if the two participants are on different pages.

I had a mental chuckle thinking about picking her up for a date with her wearing a short, sexy black number with stilettos, looking as glamorous as I am sure she looks when she goes out on a date.  In the meantime, I am dressed for rock climbing.

Awkward!

Of course, this would only happen with a dating novice.  Dating 101.  You always discuss your plans with your date ahead of time so you both know how to dress.

Over the past couple of years, though, I’ve been trying to challenge my preconceived notions about a lot of things.  Do I do the things I do because I have carefully considered them, and the alternate possibilities, or do I do them because it’s just how someone told me to do it?

As a scholar, I get this all the time.

“You can’t write like this.”

“Why not?  <insert renowned scholar> does it like that…”

“But you’re not <renowned scholar>.  (S)he does it because (s)he is <renowned scholar>.”

“But before they were <renowned scholar> they were just like me.  It was writing like this that made him/her <renowned scholar>.”

“Nope.  Sorry.  You get a C on this paper.”

This gets back to the crux of the issue.  Relationship “experts.”  (I put quotes around that word because I say it with such disdain.  Imagine me saying it in the most sarcastic voice imaginable as I roll my eyes)

They, like most people, live on auto-pilot.  Their perception of the world is limited by their experiences and they cruise through life assuming that their perception is true.  In reality, there is no such thing as true.  True is an idea that humans came up with to moralize the world around us.  We have an almost unlimited arsenal of artificial constructs that we take as incontrovertible truth when they are nothing short of balms to assuage our complete bewilderment at the world around us.

Whoah!  Where did that come from?!?  Sorry for the “there is no spoon” moment.

The point I was trying to make with my dating blogger friend is that there may be a better way to go about dating.  Unfortunately, she was pulled away (or was I the one who was pulled away? I have a crappy memory sometimes) and I never actually got there.

I could create a list of new experiences I have had in my life because I was open to trying something completely new.  I have had wonderful relationships because I have striven to not have a “type” that limits the pool of potential matches.  I try to roll with the punches and find out what my prospective date is interested in so that I can increase my arsenal of experience.

Am I right?  Is she wrong?  Who’s got the better of it?

In reality, neither of us.  And both of us.

If what she’s doing is working for her and making her happy, then she’s doing perfectly fine.  I worry that defining yourself as an expert dater prevents you from being in a relationship.  After all, if you fall in Love with someone your identity has been shattered.  That is a demon for her to struggle with, though, not me.

If I lived in the same general area as her, I think I would have enjoyed going out with her.  And I would have dressed to impress (I clean up pretty good).  I’m sure it would have been a wonderful, enlightening date.

And we never would have gone out on a second.

Not because we are incompatible, but because that’s just the way these things work out.

Of course, maybe she would have surprised me.  Maybe I would have surprised myself.  Maybe we would have transcended the typical first date bullshit and had a truly meaningful experience.  Maybe she would have answered the door in her harness and climbing shoes.

We shall never know.

As it is, we are left to hypothesize on what might never have been and justify each of our biased views of reality.

After all, we’re bloggers.  That’s just what we do.

I’m speaking, of course, about straight marriage.

Surely, he jests, you might be thinking. But no, I am dead serious. Marriage amounts to nothing more than legal blackmail. It forces people into a legal obligation to each other which they are perfectly capable of entering voluntarily. It is so difficult to leave, though, that millions of Americans choose to live in agony rather than spend the time and money necessary to secure their happiness.

Government and religious leaders have colluded for millennia to perpetuate the belief that marriage is good and being single is evil. The facts do not support the conclusion.

There are countless examples of happy couples who have loving, healthy relationships without getting married. I always used to point to Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon, but I guess they’re not really my paradigm anymore. But still, look at how long they were together compared to most Hollywood couples.

If you really want proof that a couple can spend a lifetime together in a healthy, committed relationship, look no further than the gay community. Until recently, same-sex marriage was against the law in every state. Even now, official recognition of same-sex unions is relatively rare.

Despite this fact, millions of gay couples are in strong, healthy relationships. While straight married couples are getting divorced at an alarming rate (the frequency of divorces is nearly half that of marriages), gay couples are, in some ways, becoming the model for healthy relationships.

Many of the historical reasons for getting married have also gone by the wayside. In olden days, women were not legally permitted to own property, so it was necessary for a woman to get married to enjoy the benefits of her husband’s title and property. Thank heavens that is no longer the case!

Legitimacy was another historical reason for marriage. A child born out of wedlock was not permitted to inherit property from his father. This was why being a bastard child was so heavily stigmatized. Legitimacy has no bearing on property ownership or distribution in the United States, so that is no longer a valid reason for marriage either.

Religion has always had its hands in its followers’ lives, but even that reason has been minimized in recent years. Religions have been relaxing their stance on nontraditional relationships, some even officially accepting same-sex couples. Even religions can make progress.

But while the non-romantic reasons for getting married have all but disappeared, the burdens of marriage are stronger than ever.

You see, marriage changes things. I hate to stereotype, but most women began fantasizing about their wedding when they were young girls. They’ve built up this gloriously romantic idea in their mind for decades and only think of marriage as a covenant of love between two people.

Unfortunately, there is no fine print or disclaimers when you get married, so most people fail to realize that there are consequences to marriage. For example, marriage puts an artificial limit on how you can own and distribute your personal property. Did you know that if you try to write your spouse out of your will, the government forcibly grants that spouse a portion of your estate? It’s called a “forced share.”

Married couples also own all of their property jointly. While the specifics vary from state to state, the gist of it is that you forfeit the right to own anything of your own when you get married.

Many people live under the mistaken impression that marriage provides a tax benefit. Speak to tax professionals, though, and except in rare cases, married couples filing jointly pay more taxes than they would filing separately. Tax professionals lovingly refer to this phenomenon as the “marriage penalty.”

And what happens if things don’t work out? Do you have any idea how much it costs to get a divorce? If it is amicable and you hire a cheap lawyer, it is not unheard of to spend $5,000, or more, to sever the marital ties! If you’ve got kids and the divorce is contentious? Well, start buying lottery tickets.

It’s no wonder people spend years in failed, destructive marriages, growing more and more bitter and resentful every day—they can’t afford to put an end to their misery. Of course, avoiding problems only makes them worse, so choosing not to get a divorce only causes more bitterness and pain.

The fact of the matter is that marriage is an outdated and outmoded institution which is destructive to the fabric of our society. States such as Michigan, which have constitutionally banned same-sex marriage, should be applauded for their support of the gay community and their sensitivity and concern for the health and stability of same-sex relationships.

Now, it’s time for the rest of us to stand up and demand equal treatment. It’s unfair for the gay community to reap the benefits of a constitutional ban on marriage while the rest of us are forced to accept this destructive institution and to submit to the controlling effects it has on our lives.

I encourage each of you to write your Congressmen and demand a constitutional ban on straight marriage. It’s about time we all stood up for what’s right and put an end to this madness.

I’ve always gotten along better with women than I have with men, and as a result most of my close friends have always been women. Lately, though, I’ve noticed two trends that combine to make it nearly impossible to navigate the waters of intergender friendship.

The first is an apparent presumption that the only reason someone of one gender would be friendly to someone of another gender is to get some. This, of course, presumes an ulterior motive.

In other words, someone can’t be friendly just because they’re friendly. There has to be some underlying salacious motivation. Heaven forbid a man should strike up a conversation with a woman just for the sake of striking up a conversation!

The second is a complete disregard for the chain of command.

I was always brought up by a certain code. When you have a problem with someone, you try to talk it out with them. If that doesn’t work, then you might work your way up the chain of command.

Society has become so litigious that almost every time someone feels uncomfortable in any type of a situation it has to go into lawsuit damage control. This is doubly so in a university environment.

Students at a university have the formal support of that institution to help resolve their problems. Between supervisors, RAs, teachers and department heads, there are plenty of avenues for students to take to resolve disputes.

The problem is that these institutional safeguards have to take every situation seriously and deal with everything in a very formal manner. While that is not bad in itself, it means that simple misunderstandings can easily be blown out of proportion.

Today, it seems like anyone who has a problem with someone else tries to find a third party to resolve the problem for them. Of course, when you bring a third party into a dispute, you kick up the stakes.

There is no question that it is easier to resolve differences with people when you do so privately. If someone has done something wrong, it is easier to save face and make the situation better when nobody else knows about it.

When you bring in a third party, it’s impossible to save face and resolve problems quietly. Battle lines are drawn and trenches are dug. You’ve forced everyone into defensive positions and any hope of a positive resolution is almost gone.

These two issues combine to make it nearly impossible to be a nice guy. A guy might strike up a conversation with a girl because he’s just being friendly. Far too often, though, that girl will grow uncomfortable because she assumes that he is hitting on her.

Rather than simply say no and let the moment pass, or even let the guy know that she feels uncomfortable with his approach, she will go directly to someone she thinks can exert some influence over the situation.

Of course, if you look at it from the guy’s perspective, he’s just being a friendly guy who doesn’t realize he has done anything wrong. Now, the powers-that-be are involved and he’s been branded as inappropriate.

All because he was just being friendly.

I have to be fair, though. I was just speaking with a friend who is being pursued by a guy she’s not interested in. She has politely said no to him on several occasions, yet he persists.

I know that it is a very frustrating situation for her, and I can imagine it must be difficult dealing with persistent guys who don’t take the hint.

That doesn’t mean you should stop giving it, though. Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. Innocent until proven guilty, right?

Aside from that, any decent human being who learns that he has hurt someone’s feelings or made them feel uncomfortable should feel bad. But do they deserve to feel that way?

I suppose I, as a guy, have only my own gender to blame for it. There are plenty of men out there who seem to assume that the only reason attractive women were placed on Earth is to sleep with them.

Although, women aren’t a whole lot better. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been accosted by women I am not interested in, and every time I turn them away they seem to take it as an indication that they’re just not trying hard enough.

No means no!

And maybe that’s the lesson for all of us to take from this diatribe. It’s okay to express an interest in someone you’re interested in. You must, however, be sensitive to their wishes and take no as their answer.

And if you’re the object of that interest, just make sure you say no before you take the next step. You’ll be surprised how satisfying the resolution to the problem can be.

First of all, I feel I should defend online dating in general. I was recently on an online dating site (for purely researching purposes, of course) and the first thing it showed me after I signed up was a list of warnings.

The top warning was that online dating is not safe and that you should not meet someone you only “know” online.

Um, am I the only one who sees the paradox there?

Anyway, I disagree. You realize that there were creepy, violent people before the Internet, right? Dating online is no more or less, safe than dating in real life.  An online date commits an act of violence and it’s front-page news. Someone commits an act of violence against someone they met in a bar and it doesn’t even make the back page.

To me, that’s a double standard. They’re both equally wrong, and both equally prevalent.

But I digress.

My main problems with online dating are twofold: money and gender.

I don’t see the point in spending money to meet someone just so I can go out and spend money on her. It’s not as if online dating is any more effective than offline dating, it’s just more expensive. That reason is pretty straightforward.

Gender is a bit more difficult. Online dating is an entirely different experience for a man than it is for a woman. Where it may be somewhat more common for “real” women to initiate conversations with men, it happens far less often on dating websites.

The main reason is that they don’t have to.

My friend Tabby and I once joined a popular online dating site together, just to see what would happen. I took full advantage of my initial trial period and sent e-mails to anyone I thought looked interesting. Tabby just uploaded a couple of pictures and filled out her profile.

At the end of the week, I had no responses, no new emails, and a couple dozen profile views. Want to guess what Tabby’s stats were?

She had received dozens of e-mails and was narrowing on 5,000 profile views.

It proved to me that the real catches don’t have to do anything to meet someone online. In fact, if they’re attractive, they probably don’t even have time to seek guys out. They’re too busy sifting through their countless e-mails.

And how do they decide whom to respond to? It’s certainly not in any meaningful manner.

How can someone possibly convey the essence of who they are in 1,000 characters? Online dating profiles certainly don’t favor the loquacious.

Aside from that, what do online dating profiles really mean? I remember stumbling across an ex’s online dating profile after we had broken up. I couldn’t help but wonder, after reading her profile, why I had broken up with her.

It’s because she is more than a collection of words on a computer screen. She is a real person, and the chemistry that makes for a good relationship doesn’t translate into binary.

The lesson I learned from that experience was that people are always trying to put their best foot forward. Obvious, right?

Okay, maybe this will be a bit more helpful.  When people fill out online dating profiles, they tend to fill it out as an idealized version of themselves.  In other words, they tend to think of all of the things they might possibly consider being interested in so they will attract the greatest number of potential matches.

And we all know that a sexy cleavage pic trumps all when it comes to most guys.  There’s nothing wrong with an attractive woman (hey, I’m a guy, too), but that only goes so far.  I want someone with substance, and you can’t find that from a picture or a few choice words in a profile.

So, if it’s all right with you, I think I’ll steer clear of match.com. I prefer to find my dates the old-fashioned way; face-to-face.  That’s way more effective anyway.

Well, in theory, at least…

What, you may ask, does this have to do with dating and relationships (the subject of this column)? Well, since you were nice enough to ask, I will share.

I was enjoying a peppermint mocha the other day and musing about the complexity of dating. Every individual is unique (that’s why we call them individuals, after all) and has been raised to expect different things in every aspect of their lives.

This is especially true in dating, where factors such as parental conditioning, friends, siblings, observation and experience all conspire to create a singularly unique combination that shapes who we are and what we expect when it comes to dating.

These are The Rules.

The Rules are those preconceptions we have created that serve as the template we hold our potential romantic interests against. The closer they match that template, the more likely we are to date them. The more they differ, the less likely we are to give them the time of day.

As if the fact that everyone’s template is different isn’t complicated enough, our templates are always evolving. A prospect doesn’t exactly match the template (because they never do), so we make minor modifications so the template better matches the person we’re interested in.

Of course, this implies that we have control over whom we are interested in, which opens up an entirely new branch of discussion. If we can change our template so easily, what purpose does it really serve?

Our template, or our preconceptions, is nothing more than a filter. The question that’s really going to cook your strudel is this:

What are we filtering?

Well, we like to believe that we’re filtering out the bad seeds; people who will be bad for us, or people we simply won’t like. Aside from the pejorative nature of this judgment call, it’s just stupid.

Come on, think about it. How well has your filter worked for you? Be honest with yourself.

Even if you’ve been lucky enough to have good experiences (which isn’t necessarily the result of your filter as much as dumb luck), think about your friends, family, and acquaintances. How many of them have been in dysfunctional, abusive, painful, stressful and all around bad relationships in their past?

And how many of them seem doomed to repeat the cycle forever?

A large part of the problem is our filter. The filter is about nothing more than the superficial. It has nothing to do with who we are as people, but more with arbitrary roadblocks.

The problem is that we can end up spending months, and even years, with someone who has been lucky enough to not be stopped at our roadblocks before we realize what a douche they are.

What we need is an effective way to get past the filter and get straight to the heart of who our romantic prospects are, so we don’t waste too much time.

That’s where my business idea comes into play.

I am going to start publishing Rules Cards. Everyone will have their own individual card, and it will contain all of our Rules.

• Don’t call for two days.
• Expect a kiss on the first date.
• Always go Dutch.
• Don’t use a corny pick-up line on me, just say hi and start a conversation.
• I won’t respond, but that doesn’t mean I’m not interested. I just want to see how much you’re interested.

By the way, those are not my Rules. They are actual Rules of people I know.

So here’s the way Rules Cards work. When you’re interested in someone, you exchange Rules Cards with them. That way, you can determine (a) how you should approach them, and (b) whether that person is worth your time and energy in the first place.

If someone doesn’t follow your Rules, even after seeing your Rules Card, that tells you something about them, too. If you want to date a jerk, you’re more than welcome. Just don’t say you weren’t warned.

Dating would become so much easier and more effective if we all began using Rules Cards. We would waste so much less time and have so much more success with our dating.

So keep your eyes open for “Rules Cards,” the cure to all your dating woes. Coming soon to a store near you.

I, like many of you, am wrapping up my time here at Eastern Michigan University. If all goes as planned, I will be graduating in June and (crossing my fingers here) moving on to post-graduate studies elsewhere.

In case you don’t know, I’m a music major. Every major is difficult, but there are a few things unique to being a music major that makes it extra difficult. First, we have a lot of one credit classes that meet several times a week.

Second, we are required to attend concerts in order to graduate, which takes time away from our studies.

Finally, there is practicing.

In addition to taking nine classes for 15 credit hours and the normal workload associated with it, we have to find several hours every day to practice.

I’m not complaining, though. I get the privilege of going into a field where I will be paid to do exactly what I would do if I didn’t need money. That’s pretty cool, if you ask me.

On top of the normal rigors of being a student, I also have to try to get into a grad school. That means applications, essays, transcripts, checklists, and the mother of all stressors — the GRE.

It kind of makes me want to run away and hide for a few years.

This is all heaped on top of the financial stresses affecting so many of us and our families today. I’m smack-dab in the middle of a pressure cooker, sitting next to thousands of other pressure cookers.

Of course, my problems seem small in comparison to what’s going on in the world. Thousands killed in the devastating earthquake in Haiti, the ever-present threat of terrorism that we were so shockingly reminded of on Christmas day and unemployment reaching epic levels here.

It’s very discouraging to be a college student in America today.

I think of all those people in Haiti who have lost their homes and friends or family members to this horrifying natural disaster and my heart goes out to them. A little over a year ago, my home was destroyed by fire and I lost nearly everything I own.

It was a tough time for me and, in many ways, I still haven’t recovered. I know what it feels like to suffer such loss, and while everyone’s pain is different, everyone’s pain is their own. I feel a kinship for the people of Haiti.

I’ll be honest, there’s a little part of me that’s hurt, too. I read about the telethon to help victims in Haiti which raised $57 million. In the past, I’ve read about people stepping up in the face of calamities and coming to the aid of those around them.

And I’ve wondered why I never saw any of them when I needed them.

The reason, of course, is obvious: It’s because the tragedy of a Haiti or a Hurricane Katrina is so large and apparent, it ensures that the world knows about it. The devastation in Haiti over the past few weeks has been as profound to Haitians as 9/11 was to Americans, and the global outpouring of support equally inspiring.

What gets lost in the shuffle, though, are the little problems of the individuals. Is one Haitian family’s loss of a home due to earthquake any more or less devastating than one American family’s loss of a home due to fire? Does it really matter why it happened, or is it more important what happened?

I fully support the aid efforts in Haiti and it warms my heart to know that thousands of families who went through what I went through are getting the aid they need to get back on their feet. I encourage everyone to continue to give, even knowing how difficult it is in this economy.

But I would also encourage all of you to look a little closer to home, too.

Narrow your focus past the huge tragedies around the world and look at some of the smaller ones in your own backyard.

There are motivated people who can’t find jobs because there are no jobs out there to be had; there are people who have lost their homes, to foreclosures as well as fire; there are students who can’t even afford to apply to graduate schools because they don’t have enough money for application fees, transcripts or entrance exams.

There’s no way that we, as individuals, can put an end to all of these problems, but we can do something together. Contact your local Red Cross and ask how you can help. I’ll make it easy for you: The Washtenaw chapter’s number is 734-971-5300.

It doesn’t matter whether you donate $1 or $100 — every dollar helps.

I know it’s difficult to find the time, money and resources to get out there. We’re all busy, but we need to give what we’ve got whenever we can.

After all, you never know when you’ll be the person who needs a helping hand.